An assignment- how to teach your wife a lesson--- oops you've got it all wrong!
I have taken up this assignment. It’s quite tough one at that and all the while I thought it would be a cake walk for me.The task was simple, or so I believed. Teaching had been my passion, so I had no hesitation in accepting the challenge. I have been tutor for many years and even now I guide the teachers working under me. So I plunged into it without a second thought, and that too almost blindfolded! Assignment, task? What is it all about? Here we go.
She had a Blackberry (gifted to her by our daughter). She found it hard to operate it and I too had difficulty in operating this hifi mobile. So we transferred the sim from the blackberry to my old Micromax Canvas mobile, which she could now use independently. Now she could easily take calls and even make calls. What an achievement! But it was not enough , now she wanted go beyond making and receiving calls. "I want to have WhatsApp on my mobile," she announced, " and you're going to teach me." I couldn't argue (It's beyond me to argue with any women folk from my home now and even then. They were always in the majority then with mother and four sisters and even now. Haha!)
We got the WhatsApp app downloaded on her mobile. So far so good! The moment we started working on her WhatsApp we received a message from one of my acquaintances, 'Who's this?' (How and why, I don’t know.)
I replied to her who I was and that I was teaching my wife how to operate WhatsApp, internet, Facebook, etc. and asked her to wish us all the luck (more so for me!).
The first lesson begins... The day is 22nd April, 2019… It’s 10 am.
" व्हाट्सअँप डाऊन लोड झाला एकदाचा! ", I said, "पकड मोबाईल आणि कर सुरुवात."
" काय करू?"
"Send messages to whomsoever you want to send. चल कर सुरवात."
"कशी?"
" Press the WhatsApp icon."
" कोणता ?"
She was trying my patience, man! "अग हा," shouting at her, I pointed at the 'WhatsApp' symbol and then took her and made her press it.
“ Press the symbol and you will see the people on your contact Whatsapp list,” shouting as loudly as I could.
" कोणाला पाठवू ? काय मेसेज पाठवू ?"
"Think what message you want to send. First one you may send to our son. काही सोपे लिही."
And she sent this msg :'I am on Whatsapp now.' , followed by ' Ha maza phone aahe.'
"हेच मेसेजीस तू इतारांना कॉपी - पेस्ट करून पाठव. ते असे करायचे. ह्या दोन्ही मेसेजीसवर बोट ठेवून सिलेक्ट कर ...... "
"What's this? "
'I am on Whatsapp now.' " It is not selected.बोट ठेवून दाब.नुसतेच बोट काय ठेवतेस. असे दाबायचे. हं! मग असे सिलेक्ट होते. असे ... "
'I am on Whatsapp now'.
"Good! ह्याच प्रमाणे दुसरा पण सिलेक्ट कर. "
"हं! केलं !" ' Ha maza phone aahe.'
"कोठे सिलेक्ट झालं ? How many times do I have to tell you? "
"तुला नीट शिकवू शकत नाही !" [There goes my ambition to conduct 'Adult education Program']
"Think all that I have told you. नीट आठव सर्व स्टेप्स आणि कर. "
' Ha maza phone aahe.' (This is my phone. written using English alphabets, instead of ('Devanagri'script.)
And I told her to paste the selected matter on the WhatsApp of the person she wished to send. To teach her the copy - paste job.was an ordeal as well.
"सिलेक्ट केलेले काढून चिकटवायचे कसे ?" [ बरेच जण 'चिटकावायचे' असे चुकीचे म्हणतात तर काहींना 'भेटणे' 'मिळणे' किंवा 'सापडणे' ह्यांच्यातील फरकच माहित नसतो. Thankfully I don't have worry about her Marathi and her making such silly blunders in Marathi. असो! ].
Ultimately, she did manage to send the msgs to many of her contacts - my son son, daughter, daughter - in- law, brother, sister -in-law, sister and many others. And in the process, I had to hear from her many of those interjections like 'तु नीट शिकवू शकत नाही !', ' हळू बोल ', 'कानांत ओरडू नकोस' and many more! I had to tell her n number of times - -- 'keep space' after every word, 'press this key for the capital letters', use a particular key for that particular function, so on and so forth.
My wife started getting the responses to her messages..
My son: तू मराठीत लिहलं का नाही SwiftKey download कर.
So we went to 'Settings' Language & inputs , got to Android keyboard. It was bilingual.and there were many many languages. There was no 'Marathi' option. So we opted for English ( UK) & Hindi.We found that we could press the 'Space' key for either English or Hindi . The Hindi key board had all the alphabets from अ to ज्ञ and theseा (कना),े,ौ ( मात्रा),ी,ि (वेलांटी) ,ॉँअॉ ,ु , ू, and so on.
So my wife wrote to him, " मेर पास हिंदि भाषा है मराठी नही है."
My son.: ठीक आहे.
Using the Hindi version on her key board, I made her improvise , in this way:माझ्या कडे फक्त हिंदी भाषा आहे. मराठी नाही.
There were many other responses:
1)22/04/2019: Good afternoon hi how are you ( Oh god - How are you? I am fine and how are you? Even the school children write better dialogues, I believe) .
2)23/04/2019: Good morning me Marathi English Karun ACHwatasapp karaty Tula English Kalat nahi ka
My wife's reply was fantastic (of course with a little from me):I understand English very well and I can also write in English as well. But Vinay told me not to use English alphabets to write in Marathi/Hindi, but use Devanagri script instead. Siddhartha, who had asked me thus:" तू मराठीत लिहलं का नाही?"
म्हणून हा माझा प्रामाणिक प्रयत्न होय!
This was her first lesson on Whatsapp. Facebook, laptop and Blog writing to follow. I told her to avoid doing 'copy and paste jobs. as much as possible and use your own ideas and own thoughts., in short don't plagiarise. .
" Don't make a habit of responding to all the greetings, especially the 'Good Mornings', Good Afternoons' and 'Good Nights' ,"I told her.
" हो , लक्षात ठेवीन . आठवते नं , आपण सारे त्यांच्या घरी ' रात्रीस खेळ चाले ' पाहत असताना यजमान बाईचा मोबाईल टुन्ग टुन्ग वाजला . सिरीयल असतांना देखील बाईंच डोके मोबाईलमध्ये होते आणि त्या येत असलेले मेसेज फॉरवर्ड करण्यात इतक्या बुडून गेल्या होत्या की ............"
"हो, माझ्या मोबाईलवर 'Good Night' चा फॉरवर्ड आला आणि मी काहीसे हसूनच म्हणालो होतो ,' खेळ अजून चालू आहे आणि गुड नाईट काय करता?' बरोबर ?"
Every day I receive 30 such greetings and I am sure many of you must be getting them as well and like me, you too must be deleting them without even bothering to responding to the sender.
WhatsApp lovers are many. They love to send same msgs on daily basis. Some are good ones -informative or entertaining or both. A lady, known to us, has this msg daily without fail: Namaskar good morning to you’ll God bless
Familiarity breeds contempt, they say. It’s not contempt for me. But being indifferent to such messages, yes! So what do I do …mechanically type ‘Tks’ and then delete their msg. Those Good Morning Gifs and photos, routinely sent by many, including my brother- in –law (though his wife sends some interesting ones) and my wife’s cousin (she is hard working woman, fighting on all fronts all alone taking care of her ailing husband – almost bed ridden. Her sons are abroad. Sad!), all get the same treatment.
Political and religious messages are simply not my cup of tea, so response ditto – deleting the same, but without any supporting icon.
On the occasion of festivals you get many greetings, I am sure, some are very innovative and beautifully designed no doubt and you are tempted to forward them to someone else. .On one such religious festival I received as many as 50 messages on WhatsApp. To please all the senders, I copied the message of one and forwarded it to another person. This 'ह्याचे त्याला आणि त्याचे ह्याला' (exchanging msg) went on for quite for sometime, until one of my friends sent me this message:" मेल्या, माझेच शुभेच्छा कार्ड कॉपी करून मलाच फॉरवर्ड करतोस काय ? बँक टू पॅव्हीलीयन? ह हा ही हा !" By now my wife has got the hang of it,no no she hasn't perfected the art.
Not bad at all! Job done. Mission completed - it wasn't Impossible Mission, after all! Mission Facebook, Internet, Laptop and blog Writing to follow!
Vinay Trilokekar
I have taken up this assignment. It’s quite tough one at that and all the while I thought it would be a cake walk for me.The task was simple, or so I believed. Teaching had been my passion, so I had no hesitation in accepting the challenge. I have been tutor for many years and even now I guide the teachers working under me. So I plunged into it without a second thought, and that too almost blindfolded! Assignment, task? What is it all about? Here we go.
She had a Blackberry (gifted to her by our daughter). She found it hard to operate it and I too had difficulty in operating this hifi mobile. So we transferred the sim from the blackberry to my old Micromax Canvas mobile, which she could now use independently. Now she could easily take calls and even make calls. What an achievement! But it was not enough , now she wanted go beyond making and receiving calls. "I want to have WhatsApp on my mobile," she announced, " and you're going to teach me." I couldn't argue (It's beyond me to argue with any women folk from my home now and even then. They were always in the majority then with mother and four sisters and even now. Haha!)
We got the WhatsApp app downloaded on her mobile. So far so good! The moment we started working on her WhatsApp we received a message from one of my acquaintances, 'Who's this?' (How and why, I don’t know.)
I replied to her who I was and that I was teaching my wife how to operate WhatsApp, internet, Facebook, etc. and asked her to wish us all the luck (more so for me!).
The first lesson begins... The day is 22nd April, 2019… It’s 10 am.
" व्हाट्सअँप डाऊन लोड झाला एकदाचा! ", I said, "पकड मोबाईल आणि कर सुरुवात."
" काय करू?"
"Send messages to whomsoever you want to send. चल कर सुरवात."
"कशी?"
" Press the WhatsApp icon."
" कोणता ?"
She was trying my patience, man! "अग हा," shouting at her, I pointed at the 'WhatsApp' symbol and then took her and made her press it.
“ Press the symbol and you will see the people on your contact Whatsapp list,” shouting as loudly as I could.
" कोणाला पाठवू ? काय मेसेज पाठवू ?"
"Think what message you want to send. First one you may send to our son. काही सोपे लिही."
And she sent this msg :'I am on Whatsapp now.' , followed by ' Ha maza phone aahe.'
"हेच मेसेजीस तू इतारांना कॉपी - पेस्ट करून पाठव. ते असे करायचे. ह्या दोन्ही मेसेजीसवर बोट ठेवून सिलेक्ट कर ...... "
"What's this? "
'I am on Whatsapp now.' " It is not selected.बोट ठेवून दाब.नुसतेच बोट काय ठेवतेस. असे दाबायचे. हं! मग असे सिलेक्ट होते. असे ... "
'I am on Whatsapp now'.
"Good! ह्याच प्रमाणे दुसरा पण सिलेक्ट कर. "
"हं! केलं !" ' Ha maza phone aahe.'
"कोठे सिलेक्ट झालं ? How many times do I have to tell you? "
"तुला नीट शिकवू शकत नाही !" [There goes my ambition to conduct 'Adult education Program']
"Think all that I have told you. नीट आठव सर्व स्टेप्स आणि कर. "
' Ha maza phone aahe.' (This is my phone. written using English alphabets, instead of ('Devanagri'script.)
And I told her to paste the selected matter on the WhatsApp of the person she wished to send. To teach her the copy - paste job.was an ordeal as well.
"सिलेक्ट केलेले काढून चिकटवायचे कसे ?" [ बरेच जण 'चिटकावायचे' असे चुकीचे म्हणतात तर काहींना 'भेटणे' 'मिळणे' किंवा 'सापडणे' ह्यांच्यातील फरकच माहित नसतो. Thankfully I don't have worry about her Marathi and her making such silly blunders in Marathi. असो! ].
Ultimately, she did manage to send the msgs to many of her contacts - my son son, daughter, daughter - in- law, brother, sister -in-law, sister and many others. And in the process, I had to hear from her many of those interjections like 'तु नीट शिकवू शकत नाही !', ' हळू बोल ', 'कानांत ओरडू नकोस' and many more! I had to tell her n number of times - -- 'keep space' after every word, 'press this key for the capital letters', use a particular key for that particular function, so on and so forth.
My wife started getting the responses to her messages..
My son: तू मराठीत लिहलं का नाही SwiftKey download कर.
So we went to 'Settings' Language & inputs , got to Android keyboard. It was bilingual.and there were many many languages. There was no 'Marathi' option. So we opted for English ( UK) & Hindi.We found that we could press the 'Space' key for either English or Hindi . The Hindi key board had all the alphabets from अ to ज्ञ and theseा (कना),े,ौ ( मात्रा),ी,ि (वेलांटी) ,ॉँअॉ ,ु , ू, and so on.
So my wife wrote to him, " मेर पास हिंदि भाषा है मराठी नही है."
My son.: ठीक आहे.
Using the Hindi version on her key board, I made her improvise , in this way:माझ्या कडे फक्त हिंदी भाषा आहे. मराठी नाही.
There were many other responses:
1)22/04/2019: Good afternoon hi how are you ( Oh god - How are you? I am fine and how are you? Even the school children write better dialogues, I believe) .
2)23/04/2019: Good morning me Marathi English Karun ACHwatasapp karaty Tula English Kalat nahi ka
My wife's reply was fantastic (of course with a little from me):I understand English very well and I can also write in English as well. But Vinay told me not to use English alphabets to write in Marathi/Hindi, but use Devanagri script instead. Siddhartha, who had asked me thus:" तू मराठीत लिहलं का नाही?"
म्हणून हा माझा प्रामाणिक प्रयत्न होय!
This was her first lesson on Whatsapp. Facebook, laptop and Blog writing to follow. I told her to avoid doing 'copy and paste jobs. as much as possible and use your own ideas and own thoughts., in short don't plagiarise. .
" Don't make a habit of responding to all the greetings, especially the 'Good Mornings', Good Afternoons' and 'Good Nights' ,"I told her.
" हो , लक्षात ठेवीन . आठवते नं , आपण सारे त्यांच्या घरी ' रात्रीस खेळ चाले ' पाहत असताना यजमान बाईचा मोबाईल टुन्ग टुन्ग वाजला . सिरीयल असतांना देखील बाईंच डोके मोबाईलमध्ये होते आणि त्या येत असलेले मेसेज फॉरवर्ड करण्यात इतक्या बुडून गेल्या होत्या की ............"
"हो, माझ्या मोबाईलवर 'Good Night' चा फॉरवर्ड आला आणि मी काहीसे हसूनच म्हणालो होतो ,' खेळ अजून चालू आहे आणि गुड नाईट काय करता?' बरोबर ?"
Every day I receive 30 such greetings and I am sure many of you must be getting them as well and like me, you too must be deleting them without even bothering to responding to the sender.
WhatsApp lovers are many. They love to send same msgs on daily basis. Some are good ones -informative or entertaining or both. A lady, known to us, has this msg daily without fail: Namaskar good morning to you’ll God bless
Familiarity breeds contempt, they say. It’s not contempt for me. But being indifferent to such messages, yes! So what do I do …mechanically type ‘Tks’ and then delete their msg. Those Good Morning Gifs and photos, routinely sent by many, including my brother- in –law (though his wife sends some interesting ones) and my wife’s cousin (she is hard working woman, fighting on all fronts all alone taking care of her ailing husband – almost bed ridden. Her sons are abroad. Sad!), all get the same treatment.
Political and religious messages are simply not my cup of tea, so response ditto – deleting the same, but without any supporting icon.
On the occasion of festivals you get many greetings, I am sure, some are very innovative and beautifully designed no doubt and you are tempted to forward them to someone else. .On one such religious festival I received as many as 50 messages on WhatsApp. To please all the senders, I copied the message of one and forwarded it to another person. This 'ह्याचे त्याला आणि त्याचे ह्याला' (exchanging msg) went on for quite for sometime, until one of my friends sent me this message:" मेल्या, माझेच शुभेच्छा कार्ड कॉपी करून मलाच फॉरवर्ड करतोस काय ? बँक टू पॅव्हीलीयन? ह हा ही हा !" By now my wife has got the hang of it,no no she hasn't perfected the art.
Not bad at all! Job done. Mission completed - it wasn't Impossible Mission, after all! Mission Facebook, Internet, Laptop and blog Writing to follow!
Vinay Trilokekar
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